| i woke up at 10:02 (after being woken up at 7) |
[05 Oct 2006|10:25am] |
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Welcome: friends; family members whether close, distant or estranged; ministers; authorities; and guests. We are gathered here today on diverse, personal grounds. Some are here to celebrate Suzan’s death; some are here to celebrate her life; some are here to be sure she is dead; some are here to pay respect to her life as a creation of Gd; and some are here to fill warm empty seats on this cold, placid November day. In any and every case, I welcome you with respect and no prejudice.
My name is Ivy Woods, and I am the niece of Suzan: She was my relative. For the 18 years I’ve lived thus far, she was on drugs, that much is true. It is also true, however, that she was an amazing person and when she wasn’t on a drug-induced high or low she was a great person to talk to.
She was the typical relative to me; she always bought me cool things like lip gloss and purses; she truly could make me laugh at any moment of the day. She was intelligent in the ways of life and although she was young, she was far more wise beyond her age. She knew things that one would think only grandparents knew. Relative Suzan also went to my high school in her earlier years; I’ve seen her old locker. Relative Suzan could always, always make just about anyone laugh. I vividly recall a Thanksgiving meal most of the family attended where she was helping to cook the turkey. She put the turkey on her hand and fastened a doily around it’s waist with toothpicks to give it an apron. Without my mom (her older sister) knowing, she put the turkey into the oven with its apron still in place. My mom soon realized and ran to get it out of the oven before the doily was baked into the skin and when she touched the turkey, Relative Suzan made a clucking noise and my mother jumped into the air thinking the bird was still alive.
More recently however, Relative Suzan narcotic usage had become more usual and dangerous. Harder drugs were used and the more you use, the more quantity you need to keep the buzz going. The details to this part of her life are known to those who should know and I feel no necessity to reiterate the mistakes she made in this time.
To those of you whose families have been affected by her criminal actions, I am deeply sorry on her behalf, but I thank you for attending today due to whatever personal reasoning that brought you here.
Relative Suzan was an animal lover. She and her boyfriend raised a poodle and bull dog over the years of their relationship. She pet-sat my dog, Bluenose, while I was traveling in the Middle East last winter and although he got out of the house and was lost for more than a week, Relative Suzan never gave up. She was outside, braving the relentless Orillia weather in hopes of finding Bluenose. She found him, thanks to a neighbor’s sighting of a small black and white lost-looking dog. After eating almost nothing for a week, both Bluenose and Relative Suzan shared luxury meals for a few days to bring their weight back up. Relative Suzan was a wreck and never gave up once while he was lost. She cared about our love for Bluenose, but she also loved him herself and couldn’t bare the thought of him being lost, starving and cold. She loved animals, and had a special bond and understanding with them.
My Relative Suzan made a few big mistakes early on in life, starting with the simplest of errors: choosing the wrong friends in high school. Things progressed from there. Her addiction ran her life, no longer was it something she had the ability to control. Although she began her downwards spiral into oblivion at the age of twenty-five or so, she tried to get help. She turned to the Lord at times, sadly with a closed heart. I sent her a book once in the mail; I had hoped it would inspire her to seek help.
She was admitted into a few treatment centers, all with no happy ending. She was bound by the addiction, it controlled her every thought. I leave you all with this to ponder: Relative Suzan died peacefully holding my hand. Death was her only true pain killer.
I just wanted to post something ive written. its fictional and ive changed every name in the story, except for 'Lord'. i figured he wouldn't mind
love, rach
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| somedays i sit, staring out hte window, watching this world pass me by |
[03 Oct 2006|02:46pm] |
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beauty is such a weird thing. think about it:
-it has a different definition to every single person
that right htere is means enough to label beauty as a weird thing.
some think beauty is thin and toned, some think it's buff and muscley, some think it's boobs and ass, some think its intelligence and kind-heartedness, some think its an average appearance with a nice personality, some think beauty s blonde, some think its redheaded, some think beauty is rich, some think beauty is almond shaped eyes, some think it's tall, some think its short, some think beauty is an eating disorder, some think its heavy-set, some think its in the labels you wear, some think its make-up, some think its grace, some think its clumsyness, some think beauty is what a person likes about someone else.
what's it to you? reevaluate your views on how importnat beauty is. i'm not saying that if you think beauty or looks are really important to you that youre abad person, i was told that looking good seems to be a big thing for me and i was really pissed off but it doesnt matter, whatveer it is to you is the true meaning of what beauty is.
love, rach
ps-no ps
pss-NO ps!
psss-fine...today was short
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| hey sexy lady, i like ur flow, the way ur body moving ,i scream and beg for more |
[24 Sep 2006|06:03pm] |
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sexy lady-shaggy me thinks |
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a year and a half ago. my friend. the angle makes it look like the car's tire is crushing him.
for your laughing pleasure, this ended when he just kept going all the way down the hill and the curb stopped him with his skateboard and he got cut on his forearms and stomache real bad. haha
love, rach
ps-V the stupid pictures didnt turn out, but one did-blurry, dark, you doing the first deed.
pss-i saw my man this weekend we had a good time
psss-jackass 2 is funny
pssss-huge dinner/from now on i'm on a health kick only healthy shit to eat for real i want to see what ill look like and how i'll feel eating really really well
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| i like free samples |
[20 Sep 2006|07:51pm] |
life is a finicky thing, it is created extremely easily (for most people), brought into the world with phenominal pain, is taken for granted as a child and toyed with as a teen and young adult. once your an adult you treat it well enough, doesn't mean much to you cause you still don't know what it really is. as you get older you sense patterns in life (in general, among people places disasters parties families animals behaviour etc etc etc etcc etc). you try to put them together to make sense of life and it still doesnt matter too much to you.
you crea another life and it suddenly is the most precious thing to you in the world (and assumedly your partner in marriage...we really need to start getting hte divorse rate low again). you no longer take the chances you did before, because you want to live to protect the life you have made that's at home, needing 24/7 attention.
you grow older, your life nears it's end, you have allowed many more lives to happen and you are still unsatisfied. you don't know why your life was created. you don't know if you accomplished whatever you were 'predestined' to accomplish. you're scared you weren't religious neough and are scared you're going to hell when you die so you start going everyday. you try to walk more, to prolong your quickly ending life. you call the lives you put onto this earth to make sure they still remember you're alive-for now. you take up cooking for the whole community in efforts to be kind and get through the Philli cream cheese gates.
SUpposedly at the time of your death everything becomes clear to you in an instant. i wonder about that often. sometimes i wish i could die to find out what happenes next. humans are terrible creatures like that-we always want to know what is going to happen before it happens so they can feel prepared for it.
humans are too busy, too scheduled, too uptight, too racist sexist agist..'ist' in general.
all in all, i'm not asking the cliche, "who am i and why am i here" but rather "why is life"
love me
ps-heres a picture for your visual stimulation. things to look at specifically-the beauty of the ever-changing female form and all the different shapes and sizes of 'woman' and 2-its symbolism (if you dont know pink folyyd dont bother)
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| hi my name is rach and i want to ...do something |
[19 Sep 2006|09:51am] |
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I wrote an entry and then it deleted itself. Bummer
love a little, rach
ps-this is what happens when you have something in your teeth.
pss-V isn't allowed to comment on the choice of my music HA
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[12 Sep 2006|09:51pm] |
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I am not a cut htat scabs and dries and flakes and heals. I am not afraid to die.
I am not afraid to bleed and fight. I want the pain of payment. Life is not like anything-especially a fucking knife.
Just lok at me, look at me now
i'm a fake, i'm a fake, i'm a fake, i'm a fake, i'm a fake
Hit me, i'll tell you how long it took me to realise
cuss me, i'll show you the hurt and confusion
pay me, i'll give it to you
it seems extreme but no one knows my extremities.
Although it wasn't chipper, i think it's good.
love, rach
ps-another to follow soon
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| Hi, life? I'd like happiness back please. No, not 'soon', i need it now motherfucker-NOW |
[07 Sep 2006|12:06pm] |
I'm on my way to school soon.
I have some anger towards a few people right now.
I won't write about it at this moment because I know I'll regret what I write later.
"Why are all the best ones gay?"
-wishes to remain anonymous
love,r ach
ps-V is an ass for using the R word on his lj after he asked me to never use the V word.
pss-parents are annoying. in the last day my mother has been mean and my father has tried to nicely explain why i'm not invited to a family party.
psss-life gets sweeter everyday. or not.
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[11 Jul 2006|10:17pm] |
so summer school is going well my only (girl) friend dropped out sadly i think which sucks but oh well and now im stuck with the guys...er..ladies.
w/e theyre divas and theyre proud.
this course so far has taught me i dont enjoy writing happy things. writing angry and sad and regretful things makes me happy and satisfied.
gota run just wanted to let yall know im alive:)
love, rach
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| i've been kissed by a rose. thorn it |
[20 Jun 2006|11:29pm] |
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kissed by a rose-seal |
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darwin, natural selection, stupid people, guns. that right there friends is a good equation. i have the ultimate solution to the over-abundance of stupid people in the world. a select few of us ultra-cool humans will have the legal ability/responsibilty to off stupid people. aka survival of the fittest. the stupid people...vanish...and the smart cool ppl live on the repopulate the world.
stupid people have been bugging me lately. i feel like a real asshole calling people "stupid pepople" but alas, i can find no word more fitting. i travel a lot in toronto every day so i get to witness many stupid mistakes stupid people make. i also happen to go to a school filled to the brim with rich social climbing turds who know nothing but, hey, they can memorize shit so the school average is uber high. off topic. on topic: for example.
one day quite a few subway rides ago, i was a part of a stupid mistake by many stupid people. read further if you have the balls, it's tragically stupid. so some guy bought a jar of pickles and the store packaged their groceries in paper bags. the stupid man left his
jar-of-pickles-in-a-brown-paper-bag on the subway platform....because apparently he didnt appreciate a good ole dill pickle (which i do..i could go for one right now. tomorrow i will buy some dill pickles). anywho, the bomb squad was called in, the station evacuated. swat-looking-like things were all over and surrounding the mYsTeRiOuS "who knows whats in it!" bag. they did their bomb robot thing, found the dill pickles.
there were many 'stupid' things and people involved with this shananigan.
stupid people make me too pissed off to write them all out. And, if you're not stupid, you can figure them out urself.
love, rach
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| i will kill you so hard you will die to death:) |
[15 Jun 2006|09:29pm] |
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where is the love |
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i tried not to copy hommie k, but this was such a funny one i had to post it. i'm going to use that line one day with perfect timing.
people hurting people dying, chilren laughing, children crying
if you practice hwat you preach, would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us, need some guidance from above
cuase people got me asking questioning,
where is the love?
the abundance of love radiating off rach is causing global warming.
love, rach
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[11 Jun 2006|08:35pm] |
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iiiiiiiiiiiii'm getting a bit tired of this.
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| Practice makes perfect. |
[09 Jun 2006|07:55pm] |
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Great big sea-donkey riding (you laugh, I stab you.) |
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Found in a guys washroom in Munich, Germany (friends were there just a short while ago when they found this).
"Uh... I needed to pee. So I went to the washroom. The urinal had a green grassy field, with a soccer net, and a ball hanging off the net. I peed on the ball and it swung into the net. It was fun peeing on the ball. Heeee!!"
"I peed on a ball! Heee!! GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!! Heee!!"
-direct quotes of what he said when he came out of the washroom. Just proof that Europe takes their football SERIOUSLY. When they're not on the field practicing, theyre peeing in a urinal practicing football. ...What would that be called?...hand equiptment coordination? "Keep your pee on the ball!" I'll stop.
I was in Greece when they won the Eurocup. The greeks are a party bunch as it is, can you fathom how it was when they had a REASON to celebrate? Celebrations for a week, that night they won it was BEDLUM. we went out with the car and couldn't get further than a block because everyone parked the cars and were on top of them dancing and yelling. People knocked on our windows screaming, jumping, singing, yelling laughing. It was a great time. You heard the eruption of cheering when they won the cup ALL OVER THE CITY. it was NUTS. OFF-THE-HOOK.
I love Greece and I want to go back with my brother when he goes really really soon:( Honestly, what i would do to be going...the job i have now is a curse. it's brought a lot of good into my life for the past 3 years or so ($$$) but a lot of things had to be passed over because of it. I wish I was going back to Greece next month.
love, rach
ps-lotsa entries recently.
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[09 Jun 2006|07:28pm] |
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"When the power of love overcomes our love of power
the world will know peace"
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- 
Love, rach
ps-in cleveland at the rock and roll hall of fame i got to see a special exhibit about this fella and boy is he wicked. you could see he felt his music SO deeply, not to mention his obvious extreme talent. the guy is an idol, and as you read wise as hell.
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| drink the water bitch!! |
[08 Jun 2006|11:55pm] |
That's me, the acid licker. lol everyones a little bipolar sometimes
love rach
ps-i promise these entries will soon become better
pss-i was bulemic when i was a child
psss-its not a laughing matter
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[05 Jun 2006|04:06pm] |
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fuck james blunt |
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soooOOOooo
its been a while and i thought i'd pop in to say hello.
earl is doing well, i gave him a daisy this weekend and he's made friends with it.
i hate banks and stuff. one more problem with the bank and i'm takingout all my money and putting it in (a) jar(s) and barrying them in the gound somewhere and that wil be my own bank. someone steals it, too bad its gone its my fault. and no one can HALT my accont. BAH. banks are so corrupt.
on a lighter note i lost my favourite lighter. twas a zippo and it was magic. which also reminds me K had ciggarrettes in his pocket this weekend! AHAHA i wanted to take ap icture for evidense. hmm what else...umm oh a very weird act, my mother cleaned my room when i was away. i came back to it smelling all flowery and shit wasnt on the floor and my bed and lord knows where else. it was kind of pleasent but eerie, what iof she was looking fo somehting, what if she found somehting. well if she did, i wouldnt be here righ tnow thats forsure. nuff said
i want a big motherfucking boombox for my room. not that i can blast the music but i can pretend. i do put it loud sometimes.
there is now comedy on my ipod. going to school is fun now
james blunt is currently playing, and i must say i admire him and his bravery. his songs are so personal you can feel it. i saw him perform on oprah a while back (my first blunt experience) and you could see the teasr forming in his eyes. i haven't had his music on for a while and just put it on and it gets me every time. goodbye my lover breaks my heart. I'm so glad i haven't had a bad break and can't feel the song to its full extent cause, my Lord, it's a killer song.
you touched my heart
you touched my soul
you changed my life and all my goals
and love is blind and my heart was blinded by you
i've kissed your lips and held your hand
shared your dreams and shared your bed
i know you well i know your smell
ive been addicted to you
goodbye my lover goodbye my friend
you have been the on, eyou have been the one for me
goodbye my lover goodbye my friend
you have been the on, eyou have been the one for me
and another example:
ive seen you cry ive seen you smile
i've watche dyou sleeping for a while
id be the father of your child
i'd spend a lifetime with you
i know your fears and you know mine
weve had our doubts but now were fine
and i love you-i swear thats true
i cannot live without you
goodbye my lover goodbye my friend
you have been the on, eyou have been the one for me
goodbye my lover goodbye my friend
you have been the on, eyou have been the one for me
i'm so hallow baby , im so hallow,
and i still hold your hand in mine, in mine when i'm asleep.
and i still hold your soul in time
i'm so hallow baby, im so hallow
im so, im so, im so hallow.
gets me where it hurts in the heart. wow. i'm so so glad i cant relate it to personal experience. when frisky died icouldnt listen to any slow song whatsoever for a year. a part of me died inside and i miss him. a while ago when i was changing rooms i came across friskys stuff. it all smelled like frisk and i cried. i cried really hard. i cried by myself and it felt good. ive never been good with grieving i told them to kill him i made that decision myself and i saw him with
and im done with that. so im now done with james. i remember being in nova scotia in a club house and it was a night of fiddle music and there were the fast upbeat ones and then there were sad ones and it killed me and i hid the crying from my mom and grandpa and friend.
wow somethign just happened and i'm a little too un-myself to go on with this. dont ask what ill tell later
love, rach
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| Your ass, my foot-they'll tango. |
[31 May 2006|06:54pm] |
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some kid fiddling with my harp |
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This might just be the last entry from R-M-P. Tornado watches and severe thunderstorm warnings in effect. I though as usual the weatherpeople were shitting us all and just trying to add some spice to our lives, but then i saw it. I saw it my friends, the rain came in gusts,
HOLY SHIT THE THUNDER WAS JUST SO INSANE MY ROOM RUMBLED
i lovelovelovelovloe thunder lightening storms. i have a good view from my bedroom window(s) now and i'm so tempted to go out for a bit by mySELF (thanks brigit...)
thunder, theres somethign about it that baffles my mind, how is it so powerful. there must be a greater power that has control of this. some kind of a force, perhaps it's Gd or perhaps Gd itself is a force, that my friends, is up to personal interpretation and I'm not about to tell you what's this and that. it's just so neat how thunder is so powerful and there's not a thing humans can do about it as of yet-thats really amazing too. one of the only things human beings do NOT have control over yet is of nature and its occurances...well, more specifically natural disasters and storms and tornados and all that jazz.
so i had a plan to do mr everest -oops, i meant 'climb' and 'mt...) by the time i was 30 years old. sadly that's not going to happen. it costs 50 000 and years of training. also, the climb can be terminated at any time and you lose your money. however if you've got serious status within certain area of certain societies you can manage to finagel your way onto a trip in a year and just pay up. i wanted to climb it with R the brother.
i also want to get earl a companion. i dont want to mini earls so i spose its got to be a guy. then we might have a brokeback mountain situation. can we all just analyse the name of that iron ic movie. broke-back mountain. gay. if you're not smart enough to get it, then you suck. but considering, that's a fairly vulgar choice of title for the situation. so ya perhaps i'll let earl be and...get him...some water toys. no brokeback or minis here. not that im homophobic i just dont want to push him into being gay or having mini-hims cause i placed an intruder in his home and he feels he has to show appreciation.. uhhem. i'll leave that with that.
the thunder and lightening has stopped now. that was a short and sweet display of beauty. i wish it lasted longer:(
i wish luck to things that should have lasted longer.
love, rach
ps-no ps
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[31 May 2006|09:01am] |
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"I like your boobs."
"Thanks, I like yours aswell."
"I like yours more."
"Cool I like them too."
"Wana catch a movie sometime?"
"Defintiely"
"Bring your boobs!"
"Fine, see you friday then"
"okie i love youuuuuu muaaazzzzz"
Thanks how the whole conversation went.
I was going to write more, but..It kind of explains itself.
So that was fun/
Slushies are the ultimate cool-down drink. Eff the 'I'm a sports drink" cool-downers. No way, slushies rule the world.
I'm off to my exam (a la music).
My music composition is finally done too, that's a semi-relief.
I'm going to the white mans saturday-sunday:) we're going on an adventure, or at least something liek that i feel like hiking in the wilderness or something:S
yes i just called you the white man. we'll hjave to see if that's going to stick
much love, rach
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| bobmarley monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn lovelovlolve |
[28 May 2006|12:12am] |
people wlawyas tell me to not write when im drunk
OOPSIEDOKERBOBSERS!!!!!!
toinght was big night a lot happened oops i lied no we went for fun adn it happend and then shes like i love earl im like NO I LVE EARL BACK OFF BITCH but hten shes liek whatever hes gay im like YOURE GAY and then we went for more and then we wen to the house and hten he was liek hahaha this is __-- she is a whore this is ------she likes to read this is ------she dancessssssssssssssssssss athis is rach shell talk to you ..and stuff
so it was fun cuase Im so happy tongiht was so much fun i wish tehre were more of my closeer guy frineds cuase it snot a party with a lil bit o guys. just al itt bit not a lot baby just a lil
oops this goddamned screen wont stop moving anf im goig nto sue it tomrowo for fuck sakes
ho no i wantto post some pictures butthen i cant cause itll be so mese dup im so tired ithinki shoudl go to sleep and then tomrowo ill tell you about tomoorww now
eat food food is good and tayst.
lover rhac WMA
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[25 May 2006|11:04pm] |
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The ideal is two parents 2 siblings and a dog. Is that realistic given the present condition of the world? Is the traditional family model really ‘traditional’? What’s a broken home? Do I have a broken home? My parents fight like their lives depend on it. They were separated before I was born, and there was no fight for custody. I don’t want to get into specifics here cause there is always the impending issue of security, just know some have it worse than me-a lot do. I have the three basic living needs for which I am grateful. When I was a kid I remember my parents yelling on the phone. Then when my dad dropped me off or picked me up they fought again. I recall select occasions they didn’t fight. Maybe they even enjoyed being friendly, civil.
i'm pissed abotu a few things. some know about what, some don't. i think i'll leave it at that for now.
love, rach
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